Luke 1:57-80

Key Verse 1:68-69

Since we started the study of Luke, I’ve been thinking and mulling over verse 4 of chapter one, “so that you may know the certainty of the things you have been taught”.  Not knowing that this intro to Luke existed until now, I realize it put the rest of the book into perspective. It put it into a new direction and perception as a record of truth; actual events that occurred in history. When I thought about all the things that I’ve been taught, I couldn’t know for sure whether or not I actually believed the gospel to have happened wholly and sincerely. For me, I guess it always goes back to that struggle between faith and reason and the conflicting reality of the spiritual versus the secular. Whenever I’ve come back to the point in my spiritual life where I earnestly believe in God, I always step back and ask myself if it’s real or am I just trying to convince myself that it is. What I’ve learned so far from the passages that we’ve studied is that all this time I’ve been searching for a tangible God. How many times have I really sought God because he is God, a spiritual and sovereign and invisible being? How many times have I really searched for God because he desires my devotion, rather than to receive wish fulfillments and even human understanding? What I’ve learned is that God does not expect us to understand His will or to even know how it will be carried out, but trust in it. When the angel appeared to Zachariah and told him about his son, his willingness to accept his words were clouded with uncertainty, doubt and human reasoning. He couldn’t understand how it would happen, since he and his wife were really old. Even as an angel appeared before him and was telling him these things, he was fixed by his logic and calculations. However, after he had experienced the death-and-mute training, he broke out in praise to God and glorified his name.  But, he did not do so because God had finally granted him a son, but because of the promise that God was fulfilling. God was sending Jesus, the promised messiah who would show mercy to all mankind; the horn of salvation who would rescue us from sin and death. Zechariah could then understand and accept God’s will, and was able to glorify God’s name because his desires aligned with God’s. As I thought about this passage, I realized that God can become nonexistent if I make him to be. I can choose to really listen to what God is telling me, what he is doing in the present for my life and his salvation plan or to completely reject it and let it pass me by. I realized in one-to-one bible study, about what it really means to depend on God, and to glorify him through my life. When the lip service and head knowledge were all stripped away, my heart was left with nothing but selfish ambitions and desires, fear and especially uncertainty. Even in the practical things that I did, the exams I had to study for and the assignments I had to complete were done out of uncertainty and fear and just out of wanting good grades. The fact that I didn’t know why I was doing anything, or even how to really live for God broke down all of the misconceptions I’ve been feeding to myself just so I could do what I wanted to do. It came down to the motivation of everything that I was doing and it all pointed back to me. But God flat out shoved the reality of the meaninglessness in my life in my face, and it became so apparent to me why I had lost all spiritual insight or desire. When I tried to juggle everything on my own, and tried to do my schoolwork and everything else for myself, I was failing miserably and I was just so caught up with anxiety and frustration, and I didn’t know why. But in bible study this week, Faith helped me realize that these tests and assignments and tasks are just tiny moments in the spectrum of my life. Looking at the bigger picture, what is more important is where my focus is. To really live for the glory of God, I learned is to know that even my grades are in God’s hands. But that doesn’t mean I just sit there and wait for a miracle, but do everything I can and trust in him with everything that I have to reach a goal and be ready for his sovereignty. When God helped me to rechannel my focus, my thoughts and desires to God, he gave me peace in knowing that if I do my best for the sake of his glory, he will give me victory in everything that I do. This newly found hope and faith gives me the reassurance that I’m not alone in my struggles, and I can lift up anything and everything to God because he seeks my praise, dependence and love. So much of what I’ve learned this week cannot be described in words but all I can say is that God is so real and so faithful. He’s showed me the clear tangible evidence to the contrast between living for myself versus living for Him. From that I have nothing to say or question or doubt, and I can only but praise God for his grace through Jesus who is the horn of salvation. He is a horn that penetrates through my heart, reveals my sins, and gives me victory over all my struggles. “Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, because he has come and has redeemed his people.  He has raised up a horn of salvation for us in the house of his servant David.”

WOW, it's been such a long time since I've even thought about xanga. It's weird how the center of person-to-person internet connections have shifted to facebook, at least in my eyes. Haha.

As of now, since August 22, 2007 I have become a college student! Haha, wow that sounds so weird and unfitting but at the same time liberating. College is in a way everything I expected it to be and more. Yet at the same time, it's nothing like how I imagined it to be. This is probably because I never pictured myself to be in college so soon. Time flies so fast. Literally. To be at a university, attending classes and experiencing the "independent" life seemed so out of reach and off in the distant future. Now that it's finally here I realize that I'm completely unsure of myself in terms of just being in this environment and experiencing college; especially away from home. 2 hrs away to be exact. It is ever so slowly beginning to register in my mind that I am in fact in college. In retrospect, I remember always thinking that college students were really really old. Haha, but now that I've become one I surprisingly feel like a little kid; naive and just trying to make my way around. I feel out of place and somehow I feel like I've been living here forever. Because all the freshman are in the same position as I am, it was easy to make friends and acquaintances through the lectures and connections, which is a relief haha. But now that I'm trying to find my place at UofI I realize it's getting harder and harder to remember God in my daily life. It's so easy to let the thought of God, prayer and even my faith to slip past my mind. I give into my vulnerability and receptiveness to the things and people around me so willingly that it's become almost an instinct, which is all the more reason why I need to hold fast to His words. Today, when I was thinking about what to do after I had submitted my Chemistry online homework the last minute, I realized how long it has been since I've really took the time to meditate and reflect on God's words personally on my own. God reminded me of the Malachi study we had a couple weeks ago, and the testimony I wrote. Rereading this made me realize the awesomeness of God; of who he is and the difference that He has made in my life through prayer and faith and grace and so much more. So this is my discovery of the God of Malachi:

Malachi

Key Verse 3:6-7a

"I the Lord do not change. So you, O descendants of Jacob, are not destroyed. Ever since the time of your forefathers you have turned away from my decrees and have not kept them. Return to me, and I will return to you." Says the Lord Almighty."

When I think about the Old Testament, what first comes into mind is how God punished the Israelites. It seemed like the times of where God laid down the law, and the people were to follow it without questioning or hesitation or else face God's judgment. However, Malachi seems to refute these ideas by adding that God is love, that there are two sides of Him that we need to take into consideration at the same time. At first, God mentions about his love. He says, "I have loved you." But the people's initial reaction is "how? How have you loved us?" as in "where's the evidence? I don't see it." Throughout the book, God tries to lead his people to repentance by revealing their sins. But the conflicting component was in their response; their answer to what He had to say to them. How have we despised your name? For what reason? How have we wearied you? How shall we return? How have we robbed you? What have we spoken against you? There is a clear difference between God's perspective and the people's perspective. In the people's eyes, they weren't loved by God. They felt ignored by him though they offered sacrifices, they put food on God's altar, and worshipped him. They had offerings and paid tithe. However, the truth was that their hearts were far from God. Though they went through the motions of doing these things, they were in actuality dishonoring God's name by putting defiled food and sacrificing defected animals, divorcing and marrying whomever they wished, and robbing God by not giving what was rightfully his. Though God had mentioned these things to him, he never failed to mention that if they just came back to him, and came to terms with the state of their hearts, he would bless them abundantly. Their complaints were that evildoers prospered and the arrogant were blessed, and people who challenged God could escape. They complained that God would not listen to his own people, and they would mourn and wail at his altar because he would not pay attention to their offerings. However, the true reality was that God could not do anything for them until they returned to him. They needed to come back home to where they belonged and to realize that everything is not entitled to themselves, but to God. Therefore, in this way they had an opportunity to recognize who God is from both sides: his wrath that brings judgment and punishment, and his love that shows mercy and compassion and pours out blessings.

            Malachi makes a clear distinction between what is holy and righteous versus the wicked. Even as how God responds and the way the people respond, there is a different level of truth that is being dealt with. The people could only see what was around them, the tangible evidence to what they did in following the Law and what they couldn't see in terms of God's love and their own sins. God was speaking of their hearts, and of spiritual matters that meant more to him than the actual motions that the people went through. God wanted their respect, and their honor. He wanted them to return their hearts to him, and become the righteous people that He had chosen from the beginning. God's grace comes in through the fact that he didn't need their worship, he didn't need their honor or praise or their respect. God says, "My name will be great among the nations, from the rising to the setting of the sun. In every place incense and pure offerings will be brought to my name, because my name will be great among the nations." says the Lord Almighty. He says his name will be great, it will be glorified regardless of whether or not they dishonor his name. However, out of his love and grace, God chose the Israelites to be his sons and daughters, to be called his righteous people. But because they basically did whatever they wanted and treated God as a wish fulfiller, they strayed far from Him. By turning away from God, He could not do anything for them. He could not listen to them, and hear what they had to say. Their words were harsh, and their actions wearied him. Therefore, God could not bless them, and he couldn't accept their offerings because their sin had created a barrier, a wall that blocked them from God. But he reminds them that he is the same God, and that he does not change. He was the same God that established them through the line of Jacob, saved them from slavery, and brought them to the Promised Land. He wanted them to remember who he was, aside from what they saw and were experiencing at the present moment. God is God yesterday today and tomorrow, and he is almighty. He is one who can give and takeaway, love and hate, bless and destroy. Then God shows both sides of who he is, and also the distinction that he will make between the wicked and the righteous. The righteous will fear him, and honor his name, and acknowledge God for who he is and not through what had happened or what is happening. When there is a fellowship of people that fear God, He listens and hears, and most importantly remembers them. God says the righteous will be his, he will own and spare them because even the righteous do not deserve his grace. It all comes down to the day of the Lord when God will heal and release those who revered his name to trample on the wicked. Those who rejected God will be like ashes under the soles of the feet of His people, for God will raise them above.

            Through the book of Malachi, I saw three different kinds of distinctions. First, there was the obvious which was the contrast between God's perspective and the people's perspectives. According to their responses, the people disagreed with God based on their physical evidence. However God saw their hearts and the spiritual aspect of their problem, and he wanted the people to realize it. The second distinction was between the righteous and the wicked. God clearly showed them the difference between what they were doing, and what they should do. The people pointed out what God seemed to be doing, but God showed them what he would do if they would just return to him. God revealed the opposite sides of the wicked versus his chosen people, and how the righteous will be set apart in the day of the Lord.

            Through these three different distinctions, I've realized that Malachi wanted to send a message for the people of Israel, and God wanted to preserve this message for the people of this world and for different generations. He wanted people to know and to especially remember that God does not change. He is not a God of wrath. He is not the God of Love, but a God of both wrath and love. It is our own conscious decision to choose his love or to choose his wrath. We ask all these questions about how and when and where is the evidence but the reality is that we have turned from God. He does indeed punish and hate those who turn from him, and reject him, but he has also loved us. The ultimate expression of His love was through Jesus who died on the cross for us. Though we've heard it a million times, it can never really lose meaning or value because God loved us more than we ourselves can imagine or come to comprehend. He sent Jesus his one and only son to bear the weight of all sin and die a most painful death. Though we are undeserving, God has chosen us to be saved and to be his people. And therefore he says, "I have loved you" to every human being on earth through this love story, and no one can deny that he has loved us. If we deny God's love then we deny the core of the bible, we deny our beliefs and our faith and our lives are futile. We are objects of His wrath and our future is in hell. But, because God never changes, he does not destroy the whole world. He will not wipe us out, because he loves us and waits for us to return. 

The key verse, I thought was very fitting for the summary of the book of Malachi because it deals with who God is, and remembering exactly what kind of God he is. Therefore, it also includes hope and our duty to fear him, but also the freedom to return to him without doubt or hesitation. As humans, it's in our nature to look at the present, and what is around us like the tangible things that we can see and touch or feel. Sometimes I can only see what is happening now, and I lose sight of who God is. Suddenly he becomes a conditional and unreasonable God, an unjust God as the Israelites had complained. It seems that he does really bless some people that don't believe in him, and indulge in their sins everyday, while his people struggle so much and are faced with hardships everyday. When I compare my life academically, financially and through personal traits I find that though I was chosen to be his people, I am not as blessed as others are. I often miss the true meaning of being blessed, what that really means in terms of God's gifts and what his plans are in my life. I cannot even begin to imagine what God has in store for each person, that somehow he has everything planned out to the last detail and for some purpose. Thinking of that idea is even far beyond the reach of understanding, and no matter how much I question and complain, I come to the realization that God is almighty. He is love and he chooses his people to be righteous before him. But I cannot forget that he is also a God who is to be feared and honored. Though he has this unconditional love and abundant grace, the moment I step out of its protection I become an object of wrath to God. If I reject him, God cannot show his love to me because I have cut myself from him. I cannot base my faith on what is happening. I cannot try to disprove God's love through the trivial situations or events of this world because He deals with a spiritual reality. His love and wrath goes beyond the physical and what is in front of us. God never changes and he is who he is in absoluteness that is not affected by time or circumstance. This leads to the conclusion that I need to remember who God is, what kind of God he is, and have faith in his unfailing love. I need to live by the grace he freely gives, and choose love, and choose to be loved through returning myself to God.

One word: the Lord does not change

  for a couple of weeks, we had this purity workshop at HBF, and we concluded it with a dance. Tiffany and Rueben taught us some ballroom dances. it was really good. ^_^ these are all pictures that i stole from helen kim and pauline ahn. thanks guys! =)

LOL, look at michelle with a plate of food.

me melchoi, miricow

hahaha, we were supposed to be praying. AHEM...

LOL, too much leg showing there, helen and mary! :P

all the girls, ^_^~

me and pauline~ =)

we took some pictures in the room by the back door. :P

ahahahahahhaha~

lol~ there was a chocolate fondu fountain.

^______^